Awkwardly Shaped

Six, pick up sticks

2012-01-06T22:22:00.001-06:00

I've had some really randomly vivid dreams the past few nights. They've all been related to current situations & people in my life. Details not to follow but in a few of the dreams issues were resolved. I'm sure in real time these things could happen but it will be very unlikely to do so at this point. Dreams are the escape from reality until reality butts into them. However, wishful thinking about silly dreams is a waste of time. One must move on...from dreams & certain realities.

Today's song: These Days by The Foo Fighters

Five songs

2012-01-05T15:26:00.001-06:00

The following songs keep resurfacing in my life these days.

1. The Cave - Mumford & Sons
2. Taking Chances - Kate Micucci
3. Take Your Time - Fun.
4. Lost In My Mind - The Head And The Heart
5. Falling Slowly - The Swell Season

cuatro qantas

2012-01-04T21:44:00.000-06:00

the planning for the best trip of my life is under way. I have always wanted to travel the world. Seven years ago I got a pass port for the first time. I had every intention of going to visit a friend one summer in the Philippians. Things never panned out. My pass port still remains stampless to this day. I do not want it to be like that forever. This year I hope to change that.

three's a crowd...

2012-01-03T22:14:00.001-06:00

I might be a little too sentimental or more emotional than other people but I shouldn't feel guilty or stupid for being like that. At least I have a heart & not an ice cube for a soul.

de dos diaś

2012-01-02T23:09:00.001-06:00

Every day for the past 6 months at least, I've dreaded going to work. I can not pin point the reason but my attitude has been all wrong. I think I've tried to convince myself for the past 4 yrs that I have chosen the right career path again. There are moments I absolutely love my job but most days it frustrates me. But what makes me different than anyone else? Nothing. I know not everyone loves what they do for a living but they try to make the best of it. That is what I will try to do for now. Accept the position I'm in & make the best of it. Today I put myself in a position of negotiation with my boss...for now I just wait to see how he responds. If all goes according to plan, then great! If not, I'll be heading in a different direction. The waiting game begins....

A new day

2012-01-01T23:00:00.001-06:00

I woke up today. Not everyone can say that. It's a new year meant for new adventures. Last year I burned many bridges thanks to my own selfish ways. Some I will never be able to rebuild & others it's probably best I not even attempt to. But this year is my very own to do with it whatever I want. I don't want to regret it like I do most of the previous year. I'm moving on...

the good ones always leave me but the greats stay forever...

2011-08-13T02:47:00.006-05:00

I have come to terms with not getting too attached to people. Throughout my life, amazing people have walked in & out of it with no questions asked. I have a tendency to click with people very quickly. I'd say it is a curse and because of that, I do my best to not get too emotionally attached to other people. It has been said that I get along with just about anyone. If for any reason I don't like someone or can't stand them, that is on a very very rare occasion. I haven't quite come to understand God's great path in life for me. He brings amazing people into my life but without hesitation takes them away just as quickly as they came into my life. I can name many people who have impacted me for the greater good & made me want to be a better person but were so quickly removed from my life, that I question why I ever had the chance to know them.

I'm not saying death was what took them away. Usually it was school or work or life in general. It started with Shannon Stein...the first friend I ever had who was actually my age. We were friends for 2 solid, hilarious, adventurous years until her family moved away. Granted we reconnected recently via Facebook nearly 20 years later, but it was a disappointing reunion. I quickly realized that people mean more to me than I ever meant to them. There was Shannon Stigall in 5th grade, Starr Konkus in middle school, Stephanie & Tiffany something in middle school, Matt & Mandy Johnson in high school, several people at Best Buy, Lindsay Lowrey, Jessie B & Heather Wriscy in college. Then there was Mr Tavenaro & Lisa at Walgreens, Angela Simmons at Star 102, Talon, Jake & Trish at Blockbuster, Ginger & Heather at Platte Woods, Sarah from tech school...and the latest "moving on in life" tragedy...Meghan at Shoal Creek.

These are people I became very close to and/or respected greatly beyond words even if I never told them, always expecting them to be around. I take for granted the time I have spent with them, not realizing they would one day walk out of my life. I just assumed they would always be present, never looking far enough into the future to think their life path would change. But it does. We always talk about keeping in touch & still hanging out no matter what. However, we all know that never sticks for very long.

Yes many of us have kept in touch via social medias like Facebook, but a casual post on my wall or comment on my status is not the same as face to face laughter we so frequently enjoyed together in the past. But if it's all we will ever share together again, I will take it in a heartbeat & cherish it all the more!

I bring up those previous names of people I have had the pleasure of knowing, going to school with or working with because they were an elite group of individuals who truly made an impact on my life. Even if our time together was short, I am grateful for it nonetheless. Most recently, Meghan has left us at my current job. She has been a staple at our facility for a couple years now. As lodge manager, all the daycare, boarding & grooming dogs & cats know her...as do all their owners. To watch them all bid farewell to her the past few days has been a pleasure. To see the legacy one person has left behind by simply having been so passionate about their job, is an honor to witness. She is an insane life force I will never understand but will always admire & appreciate. Though her life's path is moving on to bigger & better things, we will all miss her more than words can express. She has been that "sun beam" for all of us in the darkest of days and the icing on the cake on the brightest of afternoons. When someone like Meghan leaves, you wonder how life can go on at work without them. We all know that it will but we refuse to accept that it can. She made each day memorable. From the gurney rides to the time she made up the poop & blood song & dance for me at my request. Mostly the numerous times she stalked me out of pure love. She threw boring overboard every day. No one can or will replace such a sweet spirit.

Now, as I reflect on those select few that I had to bid farewell to at some point in my life because our paths were no longer meant to cross, I am reminded of those that have always been around. The ones I will never shake free of and I hope I never will. I'm talking about the Kristin Nehers, Megan Pattons & Katrina Kaighens that will forever be in my life. I hope to never take for granted their friendships. Though their lives have changed drastically & they've all gotten married at some point, our friendships remain. They are more than friends, they are my family. Even though my heart breaks to think of the select few people in my past I have had to say goodbye to, my heart wells up with joy knowing I never have to say goodbye to those who mean the most to me. My cup runith over when I think of the love & support friends like them have given me over the many years I've known them. The laughter...oh my word, the laughter!! a few sentences can never sum up the life time we have spent together. And I hope there never comes a day were I have to sum it all up in a few words. Friends like those will be my maid of honor or write my eulogy or speak at my funeral & have to leave out the racy parts for the faint of heart. And I will love them all for it!! But haunt them if they ever go into too much detail! I hope that everyone has the chance to have people like Kristin & Katrina & Megan in their lives. It is an honor to know them all & a privilege to call them friends.

I have come to realized that in my life, I can count on one hand the number of people who are & will always be true friends. Everyone else will just be an acquaintance I have had pleasure of knowing at some point. That doesn't make anyone any less special. If you truly know me, you know that I am very hard to get rid of once we are friends. Family can never be forgotten...like it or not, I have a tendency to make friends apart of my personal family. Life is so much better surrounded by people who love you. People who believe in you. People who support you. People who would do anything for you...And that my friends, is what truly gets me through each day.

ramble-a-doos!

2011-07-10T02:27:00.002-05:00

-Napoleon Dynamite. Great movie but you have to allow for about 2-3 years in between the times you watch it to still appreciate the random humor so beautifully written. The same goes for watching Juno & Little Miss Sunshine.

-Blowing bubbles. What a calming effect they have on a person. Whenever I start to feel stressed, I track down one of the small party favor size bottles of bubbles I've acquired from the 10's of weddings I've attended. I proceed to sit & blow some bubbles into the room. It helps me relax. Try it. Don't worry about the layer of soap that will wind up on the surfaces around you later. Just enjoy the moment.

-Myspace. What the hell happened to that place? It was the beginning of an amazing social media. One could show off their own personality with their page & also venture out into the world of their favorite musical artists. Don't tell Facebook, but I kinda miss Myspace.

-my niece is too cool for me. My oldest niece is now 6 & half. How that happened, I have no idea! But I've come to realize that she is way more fashionable than I will ever be & I could care less. It matters to her to be cute & in style..thanks Hannah Montana. My oldest niece always asks me why I'm not married yet. I'm old enough that I should be married by now. She always brings that up at the most random dinner conversational moments...I always say, "yea you're right but then again, maybe it's not my time yet! I don't think I've met the right guy who'll think you & the rest the family are as cool as I think you are!"...(puzzled look on young child's face)

-sandwich with no lunch meat. I made this sandwich once. Only because I had to thaw out the lunch meat over night...but when morning came, I forgot to put it on my sandwich before I left for work. Idiot! Sandwich of bread, cheese & lettuce is not edible.

-Rip Torn...Best. Name. EVER!

- World War II. A war that will go down as the last war worth fighting in. I may not be highly informed about what all other wars following that war were about, but I know that this was the last war that we were taught that meant anything to our nation. A war of chivalry. Everything after it was so politically driven it was hard to understand the rest. Vietnam, Korean war, Bay of Pigs, Cold war, Kuwait, Gulf war, Afghanistan & even Iraq. (FYI Wikipedia "Football war" just for the fun of it...sports even cause wars, silly soccer!) At least WWII had an actual motive: to rid the world of a crazy bastard named Hitler. Some may argue that the war on Iraq was the same for Saddam, but I don't see that. That bastard was going down regardless whether there was a war or not. I avoid political news because there is no straight forward information or answer as to what is going on in the world. Whether it be CNN, Fox News or The Daily Show...all opinions are played out in the media & it makes it hard to get the cold hard facts in order to form my own opinion of what is occurring in the world today. Long story short, I hate politics with a passion. Election year is like a horrible nightmare where you can't trust anyone & in the end, everyone gets killed by the psycho!

-driving on correct side of street that you learn during learner's permit exam. I'm not sure why I chose this as a topic but I wrote it down at some point & thought it was worth discussing. Now I'm not so sure. Take from it what you will. Whether you're American or British...the outcome could be different.

-reaching out to estranged family members. I have had a letter written on my laptop to my mother's sister for over a year now. I have re-written it several times & gone so far as to print it out & place in an envelope. But I've never had the courage to send it. The aunt I have been meaning to write has been nothing but a pain in the ass as long as I've known her. There was a brief moment after my grandfather passed away where she was civil but I later found out that was thanks to the Valium she was taking in conjunction with the large amounts of alcohol she was consuming. As of this moment, I have updated the letter to her & printed it out. Monday I will place a stamp on it & send it on it's way. Btw, it is not a hateful letter in anyway. That is not my stance in life. My stance is nothing but forgiveness & the act of moving on. I am informing her of my life & all that has occured in the 7 yrs since we last spoke. I am sad that her & I will never have the kind of relationship that me & my own nieces have. But we must no dwell on the sadness but instead live in the moment & being thankful for today. That leads my next topic....

-Cancer...let's kick this bitch in the back! I recently found out that my best friend's dad may have pancreatic cancer. Things are still very much up in the air as far as actual diagnosis & treatment are concerned. But this is something I have feared for him ever since he began to have issues with his pancreas a couple years ago. This man is like my 2nd father. Granted he is way more strict so I would never want to be raised under his roof! But he has always been present in my life growing up. My heart breaks for his wife & daughters. The next couple of months could & more than likely will be his final days. But we must remember that no one makes it out of this world alive. This man has lived an amazing life filled with loving family & friends, abundant trips & lots of joy. I say that last part because that is what I think of when I think of his family. Joy & laughter sums up my time with that family. I have been lucky enough to have been a small part of it all. They have been my escape from my own life & yet have shapped my life. Reality has struck them hard in the past but they have always swung back harder.

-Do you ever think about throwing TP around your home as if it were crate paper? yea...me neither

-Pets are a part of the family. First it was Star the collie mix who I only got to say farewell to in the back yard before my parents took her to the vet. Next was Packer, who was one of the most handsome red fox labrador there ever was. He was strong & loyal. Sadly he was stolen at just 2yrs old, never to be found again. But then along came Coach. The greatest friend I ever had. Just saying his name brings back a flood of memories. It wasn't until recently that I realized how much that dog meant to me. Now that I'm in the vet field, there's so much I wish I had known was happening to him through out his time with us. From when he got hit by a car & had ortho surgery until his final days as he was suffered with cancer. To this day, I still have dreams about him. I dream he is still alive & by my side as I go through life today. Religious people say dogs will never be in heaven because they have no soul. I beg to differ. Wherever I may end up, if heaven is what you call it, I believe dogs & all other pets will be there. They give you more unconditional love than any other human being could ever give.

I'm done rambling for the time being. I think I touched on too many topics but oh well. I'm making up for lost time, I guess. Thanks to Sailor Jerry for being my muse this evening and to Matisyahu for being my soundtrack tonight. You are my generation's Bob Marley, not quite as amazing but your rhythm & sound will get me thru the day!

loss of a dear friend

2011-03-29T21:42:00.010-05:00

I recently received a call that a former neighbor, Shirley, had been found dead in her home. She was only 71 yrs old. It was very unexpected. No cause was determined but it was more than likely related to health problems. When I first heard that Shirley had died, my immediate thought was "what the hell?!?" but then I thought "I guess it was her time". Yes it was a very sad moment. I've done my best to keep my true feelings from those around me. I had to tell my work BFF that I was probably gonna be in a bummer mood the following day because of this sudden loss in my life. That way she could tell others & I wouldn't have to explain my mood. Then when it was brought up the next day at work, I almost lost it & had to just walk away & change the subject. My mom kept saying she just hated Shirley for doing this. It was so unexpected. Just 3 mths ago Shirley was on a cruise with her cousins enjoying life to the fullest. She had been to visit her parents the day before she died. But she didn't show up for a painting class she was taking on Monday. Her parents found her collapsed in her kitchen the following day.

This was a shock to not only her family & ours but the rest of the old neighborhood family. I was lucky enough to grow up in a small culdesac we called "The Circle". Neighbors would come & go but we kept in touch with the ones that meant the most to us. The few that I had the privilege to grow up with in my life are still kept close to my heart & I do my best stay in touch.

When I graduated from college in 2004, Shirley gave me a book titled "Manual For Living." Then last year when I graduated from the vet tech program, she gave me a book titled "The Meaning of Life." I never took the opportunity to read either of them all the way through until the night I found out she had passed away. I couldn't sleep & so I pulled out both books. Granted neither book is very long but the words they contained needed to be read by me at that moment. I can't say that I was extremely close to Shirley but the fact that she was able to function & continue on in life after losing 2 of 3 sons unexpectedly with in a year of each other, show her strong will. She was the epitomeof strength. It's weird to think that i will never see her again. I will never watch her crazy bird dogs. I will never have to clean up after their many accidents due to having to give them their meds in hot dogs & boiled quail. I will never get to sit with her at her kitchen table & talk about how life was going.

I could go on for days on how having Shirley Fraser as a neighbor shaped my life. It was thanks to her sons that I learned the act of practical jokes, motorcycles, camping & beer. I learned the best to way to make a dry ice bomb that will sound like a M-80 no mater what if done right! Shirley saw the best in all of us kids in the neighborhood. She was a constant ray of encouragement. I have her to thank for helping me get into the vet tech program. Whenever I needed a reference, she was the first person that came to mind. When I asked her if she'd be willing to write me a letter, I will always remember the happiness in her voice over the phone. When I went to pick up the letter a few days later, she was so excited to pass it on to me. After attending her funeral, I found out so much more about her. I wish I had known her better. She did many great things in her life & accomplished even more than I ever knew of. I hope that when I die, those left behind will say such words of love & kindness as were said about her. Among Shirley's things, her son found an obituary that she had written about herself. that got me thinking, What if I were to write my own obit? What would it say?

"Amy Dawson was born & raised in Kansas City, MO. After graduating high school in 2000, she attended Northwest MO State where she earned a bachelor's degree in Broadcasting with a minor in Psychology in 2004. After working for KFKF radio for nearly 4 years, she decided there had to be more to life. She went back to school to study veterinary technology where she graduated in 2010. She was finally doing what she loved which was working with animals. The good, the bad & the all the ugly that came with it. Amy grew up always having dogs in her life so it was inevitable that she would one day make a living out of working with them. Amy was know for her humor, quick wit, dedicated friendship & unattainable love for music. Amy always looked for the best in people even if it meant she might get hurt or be disappointed in the long run. She is survived by her parents Rick & Peggy Dawson, her brothers Ryan & Jason & their wives. She is also survived by her 5 amazing nieces & nephews who she dearly loved & whom she was know as AA to: Makenzie, Maggie, Robby, Savannah & Jack. "

That's just a rough draft & I hope there are more great things to add to it when I actually pass away...hopefully many years from now!

lah-dee-freaking-dah!

2011-03-27T22:21:00.003-05:00

These are a few things I want to talk about today. I will elaborate on them in just a moment.

-Capitalization.

-EBay

-Songs for Japan

-Stuck in the elevator.

-Ice

-Blue ink pens

-Andy from Parks & Rec

-Apple Sauce.

-Social anxiety

-laundry basket on head

Let's start with #1: Capitalization. Since graduating from college, my only major rebellion has been to stop capitalizing the first word of sentences & my own name. Why? I have no idea. I could blame texting for making that happen or I could blame my lack of self confidence as to why I didn't want to capitalize my own name or even the word "I" whenever I type it out but I have decided to change that. I am back to normal grammar as best I can do & because I deserve some respect from myself.

EBay. Whatever happened to the fad of selling & buying stuff on EBay? The excitement of finding a collector's item or a cheaper version of your favorite useless thing. Only to have to wait at least 7 days to find out if you "won" it in a virtual bidding war with strangers who had nothing better to do than sit & track their outbiddings. Did all the EBay rage go out in like 2005? It must have been the discovery of Craig's List..which I still feel is really just a poor man's version of the lazy garage sale. I do understand it's useful. The one & only time I used it was to find a home for a dog I was fostering & luckily I didn't meet any creepers like in that Lifetime movie.

Songs for Japan. I recently read that Rihanna, Bon Jovi, Ne-Yo & Justin Bieber were coming together to collaborate on an album to benefit those devastated by the recent tsunami & earthquake. I don't know how the people of Japan feel about those artist, but I sure as hell don't think their music (except for maybe Bon Jovi) would in anyway lift my spirits after I lost everything I had plus loved ones. I think listening to them would only make things worse.

Stuck in an elevator. Have you ever gotten in an elevator with strangers & immediately thought "what if these are the people I got stuck in an elevator with right now"? Luckily it's never happened but I always imagine if it did. That could be a comedy or horror movie depending on my fellow elevator patrons. Next time you get in an elevator, just take a quick look around at the other people in there with you. Don't worry, you can look around at them because like all people who get in an elevator with strangers, they never look directly at anyone else so you won't have to worry about making eye contact.

Ice. I love ice almost as much I like fire. But I don't like driving on ice...and I certainly wouldn't want to drive on fire. I could easily walk across either one. I like ice in a glass but I've never had fire in a glass. I imagine that would be kind of fun though.

Blue ink pens. They are my favorite color of pens to write in but due to my job, it's not legal to write in blue ink. Well actually new laws say it can be either black or blue ink but my doctors only prefer black. I miss writing in blue. It makes writing less drab.

Chris Pratt aka Andy from Parks & Rec. I awesome sauce him!

Apple Sauce....thinking of awesome sauce made me think of apple sauce which I haven't had in a long time. It's best if cinnamon is added to it.

Social anxiety. I think I'm starting to develop a form of social anxiety. Which is not good for me because I love being around people. But the past couple months, when I wake up in the morning or am getting ready to go hang out with friends on the weekends, I start to feel nauseous. Maybe it's a fear that I won't be good enough at my job or that I won't be fun enough for my friends. Whatever it is, it's very annoying & I hope it goes away soon.

Put a laundry basket on my head. I did that a lot when I was a kid. We would always joke that we were stuck in jail looking out through the "bars" of the basket. I did it today & had a flash back of being 7yrs old again. Btw, I despise folding laundry.

I bid you a-do. May your week be a good one. If you get in an elevator, just remember to take a brief gander at those around you. Imagine the stories behind them that they could bring to the scene if you all got stuck together. It's Sunday night & my brain hasn't worked all weekend so I should probably go to sleep now & hope it resets itself before the morning or else work will be a struggle more than usual.

the prodigal one returns!

2011-03-24T00:18:00.001-05:00

It's been brought to my attention that it's been far too long time since I've written on my blog. For whatever reason that's kept me away, I do apologize to anyone who actually looked forward to a random rant by yours truly. Life has been filled with many twists & turns the past several mouths.

I acquired a new job at a vet clinic last May. I passed National boards in July & then became a Registered Veterinarian Technician in the Missouri in November. Overall, I love my job. Granted my clinic can be expensive but I love the doctors I work for because they actually care about their patients & not just about making money off them. They do everything they can to perform the best quality medicine that they possibly can. That's something I never dealt with at my previous employer.

When I first started, I thoroughly enjoyed working with all my other co-workers. They were all hard workers for once! It always takes a while for everyone to get to know the new kid, but I found my niche pretty quick & got along with everyone. The longer I was there, I came to realizing a select few weren't as dedicated workers as I thought. They were constantly calling in sick or having family problems that hindered them from showing up & doing their jobs. I believe that 87% of the time their stories were legit but the remaining 13% are yet to be determined. I have come to realize that the rest of the world was not instilled with the kind of work ethic I was raised with thanks to my parents. Dedication, honesty, eagerness to learn, willingness to help others, sense of teamwork instead of competition. If none of these apply to your work ethic, I am sad for you.

This post is not meant to be a bickering session about my job. I could go on for days, nay...weeks, if given the opportunity to talk about my feelings towards my job right now. But in the end, it would just come across as a bitching session & that's not what this blog is for. Just know that I have an INSANE frustration towards certain things & people at my job that I wish I could control or if someone cared how I felt about it. But this is not the time nor place to elaborate on that topic.

I must let those things go right now because we need to talk about important things like "I Love Lucy." Yes, the television show. I recently got the 1st two seasons of the classic black & white TV show on DVD & I am making a marathon of it! For those of you who don't know the history of television, I'm gonna nerd out right now. "I Love Lucy" changed the way situation-comedies were presented to the world. Mostly for the technique of a 3-camera style production in order to capture upclose character reaction, live-to-tape recording & the art of filming before a live studio audience. We can also credit Desilu Productions for the smart move of airing reruns, which come handy when Lucille Ball became pregnant during filming of the 2nd season of "I Love Lucy". That later gave birth to the financial genius that is syndication! Why I know all this information about a television show is beyond me. But I always watch "I Love Lucy" in aw of the simple concept that changed a medium. The comedic talent & timing was never expected to come from a female role in that era. Sure Lucy played the part of a 1950's housewife but she lived the life of a hilarious independent woman at the same time. There aren't many important people in history I can say I'd like to sit down & have a conversation with, but Lucille Ball is one of them. The woman behind the character was an amazing business woman as well as comedian. She paved the way for many people to this day.

I grew up on black & white TV. Maybe it was because the only television I had in my room only played in black & white. For the longest time I thought Full House & A Different World were in black & white! So I felt like I was an old soul from early on. I say an old soul because, even though I am quite a jokester & love to be silly & have fun, there is a part of me that is always cognisant of what's going on around me. I feel nowadays, most people are too busy with their heads inside their own lives to really know what lies just beyond their own front door. Or just beyond their own boring Facebook status. No one really cares that you are tired or sick or hate your job or the weather sucks or that your kid won't sleep through the night!! Unless there's a funny twist to it. Like you're tired because you stayed up all night trying to memorize the entire dialogue to Driving Miss Daisy in the original southern accents. Or that your kid won't sleep through the night because he now believes he is part bat & must stay awake at night & only sleep during the day while hanging his head off the side of the bed.

If there's not a funny twist to your status update, I will block you from my news feed. Simple as that. I thrive on whimsical & clever statements. If you have nothing different to offer, I do not want to waste my time reading your updates. Life is short so don't bore me with glaring observations.

whew I am done for now. You can thank the Sailor for this ramblefication (clarification of rambling)...yes I made that word up. According to Barney Stinson, inventing your own word shows creativity & vision aka visativity. I just watched the "Possimpible" episode & can't stop making up new words! Its fun try it...it might make your status update or Twitter feeds that much more tolerable for others to read.

i'm movin' on

2010-06-22T23:35:00.000-05:00

its never good to start a rant when its already late & i gotta work in the morning plus i've had a few beverages! but this is where i will vent. no one reads this anymore anyways so its really just a "dear diary" moment. just over a month ago I had an Oath & Pinning ceremony for completing the Veterinary Technology program. YES it was just through Maple Woods & YES that is just a community college & YES it only took 2 yrs (really 3 with pre-reqs). but i have never felt a greater accomplishment than graduating from this program.

May 5, 2010 was a big night for me. it was a fun night to finally share with friends & family what i'd really been threw the past 2yrs. i was finally completing something i had worked so hard for & felt so passionate about. sure i'd graduated before from a 4yr college with a degree in something i thought i was gonna use to change the world! clearly i was mistaken. but this time around i have a feeling i might actually serve a purpose & maybe for once earn some actual respect from friends & family.

the Oath & Pinning ceremony meant a lot to me. and i wanted the people that meant so much to me to be there to share in this occasion. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that I don't mean as much to others as I thought I did. Big wake up call!!

i gave people who decided not to show up the benefit of the doubt on that night since it was during the middle of the week & may have been hard to attend. or else they had better plans to go celebrate Cinco de Mayo with discounted margaritas. However, i then had a graduation party on a Sunday afternoon....and i was blown off yet again by people who promised they'd come or promised they'd meet up with me later that night. now i understand the term "empty promises". those seem to be the only thing people know how to make these days because it must be so much easier to say "yes" than to face the question of "why not."

Usually when I’ve been wronged by a friend it makes me question all my other friendships. What did i do to allowed that person to turn against me or get the best of me. I get defensive & think the only way to prevent it from happening again is to distance myself from other friends so it doesn’t happen again. This is why I don’t let many people get that close to me. I fear being let down time & time again. It’s happened all too often for me to let my guard down. Conclusion: People Suck!

over the past 2 yrs, me & my classmates have all bonded in this vet tech program & i finally have a group of friends i can talk to about my job or school & they completely understand. they aren't totally lost & don't try to change the subject mid-story due to "lack of interest". sure we're kind of nerdy because we used our vocab words as a basis for conversation or hilarious song paradies but that's what makes it fun. a big majority of these folks are younger than me...ok so 13 out of 17 of them were younger than me! damn i'm old! however, i've never been a part of a group quite like these people. i've been in many groups, on teams, or with co-workers & friends in the 27yrs i've been roaming this earth. but never have i witnessed such camaraderie among such a large group of people.

as many know when placed within a group of people or among friends, there's always an underlining feeling of competition. you wanna be just a little better than this person in something or really hope that person doesn't do quite as well in something. that feeling is absent for me towards my vet tech class. but sadly that feeling lurks among all other aspects of my life.

My days of wearing a back park have come to an end. There’s something comforting about wearing a back pack. I’m not sure if it’s the gentle hug I get from the back pack straps or the feeling that I’m carrying knowledge around on my shoulders & hopefully one day i'll actually learn & remember that knowledge!

Do you ever feel like there’s more out there for you to do? i thought this vet tech program was the thing for me. but what if it isn't? what if i have always been meant to be part of the music industry. it haunts me everyday...maybe i didn't work hard enough or make enough sacrifices to make that dream happen? when i hear a good album or even one great song from it, i get this feeling in my heart: overflow of joy. and when i hear crap, i immediately shut that shit off! my heart is open to music. i wish i could write it but i could never write a song because i suck at rhyming & i'm too long winded. every song would be American Pie length for me! the Don McLean song, not the stupid movie, idiots!

well hell...at 27 yrs & 51 weeks old, i still have no idea what my purpose is in this world. What defines you? is it your hair, your car, your makeup, your socks, your weight, your job, your family, your tattoos or piercings, your athletic ability, your taste in music, your knowledge, your humor, your ability to argue well, your kindness, your temper, your patience with others, your ability to talk, your ability to listen, your hobbies, you wiliness to let others win because it means so much to them, you ability to accept new friends, your love for the funny papers, your taste in alcohol, your whimsical comments?

don't just brag about it, be about it!

Compromise...yes with capital "C"

2010-02-28T02:33:00.009-06:00

it should be known up front that i am writing this blog partially tipsy on a couple glasses of wine..others might say its been a couple bottles but who's really counting. it's known that i am not nor have i ever been in a serious relationship...no man has been lucky enough to sustain my awesomeness. but i have known many people for long periods of time & that kind of pans out to long relationships. friends are very near & dear to my heart & i will always respect them for putting up with me or others for a long period of time. if you are my friend, prepare to be one for life. i value friendship almost more than i value my love for Trident gum (i've chewed that stuff since 1993!)

i have recently been a witness to a marriage between two close friends going through a struggling time. of course it involves money. the husband has lost his job temporarily...details are insanely confusing...however the job loss involves lawyers & such beyond his control. anyhooo....i don't know the details of this marriage & it's struggles on the inside of all this hoop-blah are hard to explain! but i do somewhat understand both sides. on the wife side: her husband has been forced to be jobless for a certain amount of time. so he struggles with being the man of the house & providing for the family without really having an income. he isn't able to really make that happen. the husband side: he must provide for his wife like he promised to do in the wedding vows however life's obstacles are not allowing that to happen. he's struggling to make ends' meat & is failing miserably at it. (luckily no children are involved in this....just dogs) the littlest things are causing flare ups between these two people. they will probably hate or disown me for discussing this on the world wide web but oh well...i'll probably forget i wrote this in the morning. i won't mention names so they should be fine. besides, they probably won't read it anyways cuz i'm mostly talking to myself when i type these things so i really think it will be fine.

btw, i hate that my hands can't keep up with what i want to type right now. damn you wine for firing my nephrons so fast and making me think faster than my brain will allow! also, i should probably be asleep right now in order to obtain a decent amount of slumber so i can spend the day studying for a couple of midterms but honestly that's last on my list right now because i'm so distracted by the struggle between two friends.

upfront, i know that as a friend to both of these people (mostly to the wife who i've known since i was 4) i should side with the wife. however....i cannot choose sides. i personally will not choose a "who's right" & "who's wrong side." if i were to do that, i would just be asking to have no friends...there is no winner in this fight. as much as these 2 competitive people want there to be...there will be NO winner...because marriage isn't about a winner of the argument. its not about you being right & your spouse being wrong. even i know that...and at my pace, i won't be married until after i turn 37!

tonight, these 2 friends will probably go to bed angry & hateful towards each other. and that breaks my heart. they will probably work it out in the long run but i hate waiting for the long run to pan out. all i could think about tonight was i wish these 2 stubborn people would shut the hell up & actually listen to each other. they are hell bent on being the one with all the answers that they forget that perhaps one day they won't have all the answers & that they might actually have to rely on someone else for support.

when i came home, i walked down stairs into the basement where i live in my parents house. (please feel free to feel sorry for me at any moment) i was distracted by the glow from the window outside. the back 40 (a large field behind our house) is lit up by the full moon which is bouncing off the snow still present in our back yard. there's something about nature that is overwhelming. i'm not gonna get all religious on you. that's not my thing. but i will say that a higher being (and let's say God) is one hell of an architect! nature is amazing & i'm always caught off guard at the least opportune time by it. i am mesmerized by sunsets, sunrises, snow caped mountains as well as snow caped sidewalks, rain, thunderstorms, fresh air, decent weather on an autumn night during a bonfire or even just when weather is not making the news...as in clear skies, mild temperatures & a humidity-free day. That's just how everyone should view life.

Winter Olympics

2010-02-18T22:10:00.000-06:00

I love the Olympics! There’s just something so amazing about them. I love the edge of your seat competition. Plus, there’s nothing greater than cheering on your own country as they take on other athletes of the world. It’s probably weird that I get emotional whenever I watch them. Especially when the theme song of the Olympics starts playing…chills! And of course when USA wins gold & the national anthem plays as that red, white & blue flag is raised…I feel so proud…I can’t imagine what the person who won a medal actually feels!!

Last night was an unbelievable night of competitions. first Shani Davis won gold in speed skating. earlier in the day, women's alpine took place...what an event to watch! the mountain was quite dangerous & many of the competitors crashed due icy parts...luckily no serious injuries! i was texting back & forth to my bff Kristin the whole time...both of us on the edge of our seat when it came time for Lindsey Vonn to take her run down the bumpy track! but despite incredible bruised shin from a previous injury, she pulled it off & Lindsey Vonn took the gold! then in men's half pipe, Shaun White rocked it on his first run having the highest score. then everyone did their 2nd runs. Shaun was set to go last. by the time it came for him to do his last run, he'd already won gold cuz no one beat his score! so he just made his last run for fun & it was insane! what a risk taker!

I think it’s awesome that most Olympic athletes are just normal everyday people who happen to have an amazing talent. There’s just something different between them and professional athletes…mostly the millions of dollars the pro’s are paid. I think it boils down to a pro athlete plays a sport to get paid…whereas an Olympic athlete gets paid for playing a sport. Sure that sounds like the same thing…but one of those seems more humble than the other.

I wish I had a least 1% of the talent Olympians have. But I was never meant to be an athlete...ask my friends! as much as I'd love to be apart of something so great as a competitive win in a sport i love, that's not a path i was meant to take. I’m more content with cheering on the team. It may sound weird but i thrive on encouraging others. watching someone work so hard to achieve something so great is exciting. seeing the outcome unfold is nerve wrecking & exciting all at once. plus i like to yell really loud so that's a good outlet for that!

Random blerps:

I love office supplies! I could spend days & millions of dollars at an Office Max! staplers, erasers, pens, hanging files, calculators, computer paper, plastic floor mats, dry erase markers, paper clips, desks with sliding trays for the keyboard! AAAHHH! oh i could go on forever about my love for all things office supplies but i don't wanna seem too nerdy! oh...you mean it's too late for that?!

speaking of office supplies...i recently found the rubber band ball i started college. and yes i only bought the large bag of rubber bands so that i could make a rubber band ball!

I think my mom bought me the Cottenelle toilet paper only because it has the Labrador puppy on it...heck that's probably why I'd buy it too.

Figure skating to so fun to watch only for the outfits & for making up my own commentary...and it happens to be on right now...so I've got to go focus my attention on that! aka be entertained!

good night & have a pleasant tomorrow!

no particular title

2010-02-11T23:22:00.003-06:00

i've titled this blog "no particular title" cuz frankly i have no idea what will come out of this blogging tonight.

its been a crazy week full of tests & quizzes...i didn't do the greatest on all of them but i passed just fine. luckily i've gone unscathed by the crazy hands-on 50pt pop quiz so far! i've already told the instructors i'll probably faint or pee myself when my turn comes...at least they've been warned! i don't feel i've got my mind wrapped around this semester just yet. but that's ok...i'll get there. luckily i've got some amazing people surrounding me & going thru this program with me. i've truly made some life long friendships...even if they are based around making up vet tech related parodies to Lady Gaga songs or fist pumping like the Jersey Shore crew! this crazy group of people has changed my life for the better!

i went on a road trip couple weeks ago with a car pack full of some of my fellow classmates...one crazy ride! literally we were over capacity but don't tell my mom who's car seats 5 & we crammed in 8!! we went to St Charles, MO for an academia bowl for the MO Vet Medical Assoc. conference. it was the first year they were having this vet tech academia bowl & our instructors encouraged us to get a group together & go. yup it was a nerd bowl but we didn't care. my classmates are smart as hell!! it was our school against 5 others for St Louis area. i was asked to join the team but i don't have much smarts so i said i'd join them only to cheer them on....that led to a whole slew of folks wanting to join our wolf pack! Needless to say, me & the rest of vet tech wolf pack brought home Carlos, the trophy! to sum up rest of our trip: overcapacity pilot, me upsetting TomTom, longest search for an Olivegarden (b/c i upset TomTom), 2 glasses of free mints, being motivational speakers, stupid metabolism question, lucky gloves, free happy hour with Dr Morrow & Robin's secret rum punch, air hockey, UNO, the macarena, White Castle, overcapacity hotel room, side ponytails & getting to see Mustard the sheep again!! good times!

being back in school has been fun but that means i've been AWOL from my regular crowd of friends for awhile & have probably missed out on some really fun times...that can be a bummer but its ok! we usually pick back up where we left off like no time has passed whenever i see them next..especially with the Trifecta! usually alcohol helps make this even more fun. sometimes i have too much...fun or alcohol, you ask? hmmm...i plead the 5th on that one!

enough of that stuff! time for some random rants:

-Gummy bears....i was in the mood for some the other day soooo... i just bought them & they were delicious! they make me feel 7 1/2 yrs old again.

-i passed by my car twin again yesterday. it was awkward at first. i always try not to make eye contact with the driver cuz it's always weird to see what kind of person bought the exact same car as me since my car isn't the most common vehicle on the road. i'm sure the other driver thinks the same about me...sorry i'm not cooler, car twin driver!

-I get frustrated reading my email…I don’t like chain letter emails cuz i don't believe in them but I will open them up, scroll to the bottom then take satisfaction in deleting them. sorry friends its the truth. the same goes for sappy "friends" or "God loves you" kind of emails. i honestly don't have that kind of time...and God gets that so he's totally fine with me deleting those too. however if you send me a funny email, it better be really funny...i don't like being let down by a cheesy email or an over circulated one.

- Worst feeling of pain that doesn’t kill you: dry...split...fingers! Dear Winter, you are my nemesis...i understand what you're trying to do to me but why me? why now? though you may think you're winning this battle, you are not...because i have Jergen's Ultra Hydrating lotion on my side! BREW-haha...who's laughing now?! i am you deaf season...open your ears!

-I recently read that Buzz Aldrin writes a blog. i was fascinated by this. This man is an icon!! the 2nd man to step foot on the moon is doing what i'm doing right now...writing a blog! but his probably isn't about gummy bears or car twins...and mine will probably never be about walking on the moon. However, moon walking is still up for discussion.

good night & have a pleasant tomorrow.

Puppet, the Corgi

2010-02-07T00:34:00.003-06:00

I walked into work on Friday & the first patient I encountered was a very pregnant Corgi named Puppet. I mean she was ready to pop! She was in for a c-section. The vet wasn’t in yet but we were going to go ahead & put an IV catheter in her. She didn’t want to sit or lay down because it was too uncomfortable for her so I sat on the floor with her while the other tech got supplies ready. The look this dog had in her eyes was complete terror. After all she was 6 ½ yrs old & this was her first litter. She had absolutely no idea what was going on! Once the doctor got there, we prepped her for surgery. The owner & another breeder friend came in about that time & were ready to help deliver the puppies. As I was shaving & scrubbing the dog while she was still awake, the breeders were having casual conversation about how the moms of some previous litters had died soon after c-sections. That’s the last thing you wanna hear right before you take a dog into surgery. We asked them to please stop talking about that because it kinda freaked us out. One of them said “don’t worry Puppet will be fine!”

so we induced her & got her into surgery. We were all ready with clean towels & many hands to rub puppies once they came out. The vet got her opened up & one by one he kept pulling out puppies & passing them on to us. This is a pretty gross operation but awesome at the same time. I’m always afraid I’m gonna drop one as the vet passes them on to me! so slippery!! But we got them all clean & rubbed down to get fluid out of their lungs. Puppet ended up having 11 healthy puppies! I helped tie off & cut their umbilical cords then we put them all in the incubator to keep warm.

Mama Puppet was doing fine thru out the whole surgery up until the time the vet had finished stitching up her uterus. I was helping flush that when the tech monitoring her said she was having a hard time hearing a heartbeat. The equipment was reading her vitals all outta whack. I tried listening with a stethoscope too but swear I only heard a faint heartbeat. With her abdomen still open the vet tried to feel for a heartbeat but nothing. Puppet was crashing. We all went into crisis mode. The vet began CPR & was giving out orders. Another tech & I started grabbing & drawing up emergency meds. I had to keep going out into the hall for other supplies…when I did, I had to pass by the owner & breeder. I heard one of them say “something bad’s going on in there isn’t it.” I had to ignore that comment for now. After about 5-7mins of CPR & emergency drugs, Puppet was gone, leaving 11 new-born puppies without a mom.

Bitter sweet moment...new puppies but mama didn't survive. Talk about an unbelievably sad feeling. Her body just couldn’t take it. I thought back to earlier that morning when I was sitting on the floor with her. She kept nuzzling me & hiding her head under my arm. That scared look in her eyes then still haunts me now. You have to wonder if she knew what was going to happen. That lingered with all of us the rest of the day. Needless to say, after work, I went & drank a lot of tequila with friends hoping to get that sadness out of my head. I did forget about it for a while...until I sobered up the next day & it all rushed back to me.

Days like this at my job are very trying & emotionally draining. You never want to experience them but they are inevitable. They break your heart but also make you stronger & remind you just how precious life really is.

M.I.A....take it 2 da house!

2010-01-27T20:21:00.002-06:00

so i realized that i've kind of abandoned this here blog of bloggatory bloggings since the MS150 bike ride nearly 4 months ago. that experience is still one of the most amazing things to be apart of! Things have just been non-stop as usual. it slowed down enough for me to regain some sanity which was helpful only to lose it a bit more each day.

i'm into my last semester of school...approximately 105 days left but who's counting. i'm still overwhelmed with how much information they cram into this 2yr program! I'll take national & state boards in June. Then i'll have to officially join the real world & find a full-time job....so in reality it's crunch time more than ever!

we organized our very 1st Vet Tech Adoption Day last fall & had great success with it so we're planning another one next month for our new slew of amazing cats & dogs!! if you know some one who's interested in adopting a pet, you'll be able to check them all out at this website very soon! http://mcckc.edu/main.asp?P=DP_VETT.

as for classes, we're getting back into the swing of things. Surgery rotations are starting even earlier now. its always a little nerve racking only because there's a real world way we do things at our jobs & then there's the Maple Woods way where everything is by the text book. the MW way always stresses ya out but last semester my group did good despite some ups & downs & us always getting the crazy animals with weird issues!

i did a lot of house sitting last fall too & at one time was watching 3 different houses with dogs. Luckily they were all great dogs & the houses were close by each other so i just made my rounds every morning, noon & night. i should of asked to get paid by the mile. good news is Jake, the dog i was fostering finally found a home the first of October right before my house sitting maddness began! perfect timing...i miss Jake but he immediately took to the older couple who came to meet him. i wasn't expecting him to leave that day but he did & i was sad....yes i'm a sap & cried after he left but oh well...i guess that means i'm not as cold hearted as i thought.

i've been playing volleyball Monday nights with friends from school. its just co-ed recreational thru the NKC school district but it's been a lot of fun! i didn't realize how much i missed playing volleyball until that first night. sadly i can't do my wicked overhanded serve like i used to thanks to my shoulder injury in college (falling off a computer chair..sober!) but it's still a lot of fun. plus more friends from school are playing with us this semester! what's even more entertaining are the other people we play with. couple of younger people my age play but it's mostly folks in their mid-30's, 40's & 50's....its fun to watch some of them get competitive & angry when other people mess up & then go silent when they screw up. my favorite will always be Rick, the old dude with a sweat band, cut off sweat pants & sweatshirt, bad knees & a pulled groin getting mad at me when i missed an easy shot couple times & i laughed at myself....later he "accidentally" spiked a ball at my face.

speaking of injuries...on Halloween i broke my own toe. well alcohol & a heavy bowling ball were involved so you can imagine what happened. my big toe was dysfunctional for about a month & half. i'm still waiting for the nail to fall off....its not a lovely sight for anyone to see that's for sure!

i thought i'd start writing on this blog again for my own sanity. the holidays came & went so a healthy diet went right out the window & of course with winter upon us means no more nice weather for bike riding. so needless to say i've fallen off the band wagon. do bands really have wagons anymore? um more like i fell off the pimped out band tour bus. a lot of things are happening for me this year & i want to get ready mentally & physically for what lies a head in my future. so i gotta get my butt in gear again!

all i have going right now is school & that takes up most of my time & brain space but i must balance it with something entertaining...hence the random babblings of me! no one will probably read this anymore just like no one used to read my other blog years ago during my fun run in radio (feel free to check it out at http://amy-d-28.xanga.com/) but that won't stop me from writing it this time either!

so here's to me wasting my time & probably yours...but it'll be worth it right? just tell me it will be worth it so i don't feel guilty for doing this occasionally instead of studying.

and we're off....

car UP! car BACK! on your Left!

2009-09-28T23:48:00.006-05:00

the 3 phrases i heard &/or repeated quite often thru out the weekend during the MS 150 Bike Ride. I need to write this post of the adventure that was this past weekend before i'm sucked back into reality & forget all that happened. even though my legs & butt probably won't ever let me forget it! this is long..so read at your own free will!

I knew this was all going to be an adventure from the get go when i went to pick up Tasha & couldn't get her bike to fit on my crappy old bike rack ...after many different attempts which included trying to take off the front tire & put it in my hatchback & even that was unsuccessful, we finally made it work! then after getting lost in a neighborhood full of rich houses, we finally found our place to crash for the night at Kristin's in-laws. after a restless night sleep before the big ride we were all awakened by the "Bike Time" song & dance alarm.

I was pretty freaking nervous about this bicycle ride. its no ordinary ride of 10 or 20 miles. No...it was 80.6 miles on Day 1 and then 80.4 miles on Day 2. i couldn't quite wrap my mind around what i had gotten myself into! i don't think any of the 4 of us could. but me, Kristin, Tasha & Ryan...aka Team Awesome, were about to attempt it. once we figured out where all our numbers went on our bikes, ourselves AND our luggage, we made our way to the starting line. as part of the final group to be sent off that first morning, we were on our way to who knows where!! well, we know we were gonna end up in Sedalia but no idea of the roads that were going to get us there!

it was all very exciting in the beginning & the first 30 miles seemed to fly by! we had to learn the biking lingo & get in the groove. very weird to think how fast it went but i think our adrenaline was just pumping so much it made our legs pump even harder! Thanks to Kristin for her constant supply of electrolyte pills every 10 miles! we stopped for lunch at 50 miles...talk about a swarm of people! i had never seen so many bikes in one spot. what a place to people watch too! all the different biking jerseys & just random people in general.

so with a stomach full of food & energy, we headed back out on road only to find ourselves in the worst part of the whole ride...hills, followed by some hills, but then we were lucky enough to have a few more hills after that! i only walked 1 of those hills. needless to say Rest stop # 6 saved my sanity by supplying me with the best frozen lemon ice i have ever craved! by this stage in the ride, the 4 of us knew we couldn't all stay together because we all rode at such different paces so we just made sure we met up at every rest stop to regroup & make sure we were each accounted for.

it was about half way thru Day 1 when i think we realized if any one of us were to get a flat tire, we'd need each of us to change it. I had a tube, Tasha had the CO2 cartridge, Kristin had the device for the CO2 & Ryan had the expertise on how to change a tire...we got lucky & none of us got a flat all weekend!!

as the day wore on, i grew more tired & my butt went numb, but i became more confident that i might actually finish this thing. it was mind over matter the whole weekend. i just kept telling myself..."only 10 more miles to the next rest stop? that just like a quick evening ride down Shoal Creek". or whenever i saw 1 mile to the next rest stop.."that's like riding from my house to Cookingham...no big deal! i got this!"

the big highlight about being the last one in my group to coast in at the end of the first 80.6 miles was that the rest of Team Awesome was there to cheer me on! sure there were tons of strangers i didn't know cheering too but it meant more coming from my friends.

Day 1 ended with free beer & lasagna in the Village, a bus ride to the memorable Sunset Motel run by Russians, shower shoes thanks to Kristin's flippy floppies, idol hands, Spider pig, winter socks, lights out & asleep by 8:30pm!

Day 2 was a whole new ball game. we had to be up by 4:45 (cue "Bike Time" alarm.) slow to rise but we made our way back to the fairgrounds by 5:45...excited that we were going to have pancakes for breakfast only to find out they hadn't even started making them. good thing there were beagles! we found some strangers to help bump up our tires, then got yelled at by the only rude person all weekend since we weren't lined up correctly at the starting line. oh well, we were still able to squeeze our way past the orange cones & start the ride as part of the first wave of bikers to leave at 7am.

Then the moment we all dreaded...sitting back on that tiny bike seat...i feared it greatly but in reality it wasn't as bad as i thought. all 4 of us quickly scattered again...plan was to meet up at RS#3 but i had to stop at RS#2 only because tons of bikers were stopping & blocking the road. then i realized i was outta water & had to use the rest room. plus there were peanut butter & jelly sandwiches while i waited in line. i think our official pictures were being taken at that rest stop & i hope so cuz i tried to make mine fun when i saw the cameras! =)

i was back on the road faced with a few more hills i wasn't too fond of. met back up with the group at RS#3...was told the worst of the hills was almost over. i believed that but none of us had a clue how horrible the wind would be later on. with each rest stop came sweet relief that i was that much closer to home. i was really starting to get worn out by this point. it didn't help that we were going up & down fairly easy hills but with winds up to 25mph coming straight at us, i felt like i was going no where & possibly being pushed backwards!

i've been asked how in the world i kept riding...all i can say is at some point your legs just go on autopilot & the rest of you is just along for the ride. i kept seeing SAG vehicles carrying loads of people onto the next rest stops. people were dropping out of this ride left & right...but here i was: only been riding maybe 3 months & even then only 2 MAYBE 3 times a week for max 10miles at a time. Hell, i've come this far, i'm not giving up now!! plus my dad donated a dollar for each mile i rode...it was only right i make that donation worth it. if i could finish this, i might make a few people proud of me...or even surprised at me or impressed by me! not that any of that mattered what so ever because i was just going to be astounded at myself if i finished this ride in one piece & it would all be for a great cause!

the last 30 miles were probably the hardest. i was out of energy...pb&j sandwiches only last so long! i found myself needing to take a breather every now & then especially after going down a big hill only to be matched with going up another...usually it wouldn't have been too bad except the wind had the audacity to steal all my momentum. i'd take wind out back in an ally & fight it if i could!

the last rest stop of Day 2 was only 5.4 miles from the end. another amazing frozen lemon ice recharged me & i was ready to "kick this bitch in the back!" i said these words but don't recall forming that sentence in my brain. that's when delusion must have kicked in. that was the longest 5.4 miles i have ever ridden but as i made it up that final hill, the rest of my team was waiting. Team Awesome was gonna ride the last 1/4 mile together across that finish line...and we did! Oooohhh YeeeaaahH!! plus we all got medals for our crazy attempt & conquer of a 161 mile bike ride!

this was the first time me, Kristin & Tasha had ridden in the MS 150 & we were surrounded by veteran riders. i quickly got used to being passed..no big deal. i'm always an underdog but i still managed to finish! it was actually encouraging for me to hear a stranger say "you're doing a great job...keep it up...or just keep peddling, just keep peddling!" those words of encouragement usually came at a moment when i was starting to lose confidence & needed it most.

i like to say that with my slow & steady pace, i road anchor for Team Awesome. but after all, we knew this wasn't a race but a ride. there was no need to bust our butts more than we had to in order to finish before anyone else. This was a ride for charity...a chance to do something amazing with an unbelievable group of people. I know i followed that motto mostly because i couldn't really go faster than any one else =) i just hope the rest of my team did the same & didn't lose sight of the purpose of this weekend!

Other weekend recaps (that i can remember right now):
-the Fun Police...the whole group was encouraging thru out the ride. i played leap frog with the same 2 members both days! crazy haired skinny guy & freakish mustache guy. they really were fun!

-Legs...sure many of them on bikes but none more memorable than "Legs" the guy who rode his bike so weird we swore he was bow-legged but we saw him walking around at a rest stop & he was fine...mystery..dude probably just needs a bigger bike!

-getting excited when i could hear someone with a radio strapped to their bike coming up behind me...only to be saddened when they passed me by & took the music with them.

-the most organized event of this capacity i have ever witnessed. and the most friendly staff & participants i've ever encountered.

-a bike built for 2 with the longest chain of life on it...still baffled about how they transported it.

-lady at a cross road really loving her job of waving flags to signal traffic. looked like she was trying to land a plane with them! oh man did she love those flags!

-kid on old school bike with only 1 gear...how he survived, i don't know!

-guy carrying all his luggage attached to his bike...including a backpack strapped to the side of his front tire...how was he not falling over?!

-guy with his legs wrapped up with ace bandages...still unsure of his story but i did pass him again half way thru Day 2 & he was being picked up by a SAG...he no finish.

-the horror that was white chocolate/seizure road...spend some money & improve the 2 1/2 miles of gravel road for crying out loud!!

-feeling the need to thank each & every person volunteering during this event...from the guy who took my luggage in the beginning, to the road side direction pointers, to the lady who gave me my frozen lemon ice, to the kids who retrieved my luggage at the fairgrounds, to our bus driver, to the old lady at RS#5 who pointed me in the right direction of water or Gatorade, to the lady making my pb&j sandwich, to the guy dancing at RS#7 while he cut up oranges, and of course to the girl who handed me my medal as i a crossed the finish line.

-despite the fact that i now have helmet pressure acne on my forehead, soar quads, a numb butt, a pretty sweet helmet strap tan & my right hand is only functional when in the handle bar position (its like my thumb forgot how to be opposable & it makes it hard to even turn the key to start my car!!) this was one hell of an experience & i'm honored to have had the chance to share it with an amazing group of friends. i am proud of all of us...we rock!

MS 150...bing bang boom....donezies!

i have a scrambled brain!

2009-09-16T21:26:00.001-05:00

no time for a big update this week. its crunch time in more ways than one over the next 2 weeks. I have a couple big mind-blowing tests next week, organizing a couple school events & of course finding time to prepare for the MS-150 on Sept 26th & 27th! (there's still time to donate by Clicking here!!)

According to the movie Big Fish "The more difficult something is, the more rewarding it is in the end." I sure hope this is the case for me!! So i hope to see you all on the other side of this crazy train I call the month of September!

Chaos is the name of this game

2009-09-08T23:30:00.001-05:00

yea i'm a little behind on updating this blog this week. in fact i've had the intention to write it several times already but other things came up & had to be done first. but right now, i'm just trying to stay awake while i read about pigs. they have sharp teeth, ya know...so don't put your finger in their mouths but feel free to rub their cute soft noses! so adorable! anyhoo, enough of that.

Life is not slowing down anytime soon with school & work & more school & training for the bike ride in less than 2 weeks. this has all been confirmed by a dream i had just last night. I was somewhere with family & friends from school & all of a sudden a tornado started heading our way. i remember looking up the street & saw it coming straight towards us. next thing i knew, it was circling around us. everyone else got to safety but all i could do was hang on tight to whatever was attached to the ground in front of me. i could feel the tornado picking me up & trying to pull me away but i kept on holding on. Finally the tornado passed & i returned to the ground. i had a feeling of success & of course just thankful to be alive! then i remember wanting to keep whatever it was i was holding onto as a souvenir. turns out it was a leather footstool that wasn't actually attached to the ground at all...dang dreams are so weird! i swear it was real. i've heard that tornadoes in dreams symbolize stress or chaos in your life...clearly this is true!

i'm not gonna lie but i am a little disappointed in some of my own family for not being willing to support me in the MS-150 bike ride while a few family members, friends & coworkers i hardly know have stepped up & already donated. at least they believe in me!

i'm also not gonna lie that i've been slacking on my attempt to become less awkwardly shaped the past couple weeks. i'm not down this week at all & no inches lost. however, i did ride 20miles on Sunday & 26 miles on Monday. i think i could have gone further both days but i just didn't have the time to do it...places to be & things to do! i took today off but if the rain holds off tomorrow i'm gonna try to head out again after cleaning the barn at school.

aw yes, the large animals are pretty fun so far. the piglets are cute as can be but the cows are pretty awesome & powerful too. one goat in particular has won my heart & many others because she's so sweet & likes to follow me around even when i'm picking up their pebble poop! sheep are crazy but i would be too if i had to wear all that dirty wool everyday! i'm sure its entertaining enough for all the animals just watching me try to heave hay up into their bins..only to have half of it fall on my head every time! in reality, the opportunities i get at school are extraordinary & i'm glad i finally got the chance to do this. i just hope i can keep a level head & keep things organized in my brain & other parts of my life over the next several months!

the weight loss will come with time so i won't fret too much about it. like with everything else, i just take it all one day at a time & hope i make the right choices.

Gotta get the word out!

2009-08-30T23:27:00.001-05:00

another Sunday night of studying in full swing...yet, here i sit...clickity keying away! but hey, my brain has to take breaks every now & then from note card writing & brightly Hi-lighter highlighting...my orange one has almost ran out cuz i tend to use it more often..yes, i neglect the other colors sometimes but don't call me a racist!

i'm down 3lbs this week so that puts me at 250...which might only be attributed to the fact that i couldn't eat much last week thanks to the aftermath of dehydration. as much as i wanted to, the nausea lingered all week but i think i'm finally back on track...dang those electrolytes getting so depleted & outta whack!

ok....so reason for this week's update: thanks to a switch-a-roo with a classmate, i can now officially do the MS-150 on September 26th & 27th. I am horrible at asking for money for things..even if its asking my parents to help pay my bills in order to survive! However, this charity ride is for a great cause...raising money for multiple sclerosis. Maybe you don't donate to causes like this because you don't know anyone with MS so it doesn't hit close to home. But maybe one day it will. I've learned that as i get older, i've come to know more & more people therefore my world gets smaller everyday. the likelihood of someone we know coming down with MS or another incurable disease is greater each day. If i can help advance science just a smidgen by riding my bike 150 miles with friends over a nice autumn weekend, i'm gonna do it! probably with lots of blood, sweat & tears but that's ok...slow & steady!

I haven't gotten married yet & i'm certainly not having any kids any time soon so therefore, i HAVE NOT asked ANY of you to buy me ANYTHING for a shower or housewarming gift of any kind!! (your welcome!) I'm a cheap friend & am only going to ask each of you to donate at least $10 towards me riding my bike for 2 days...even if you don't think i can do it (and why don't you think i can do it, friend?!?!), the money will still go to a great cause. If enough of you have faith in me that i can do the entire 150 miles, it will help encourage me greatly along the ride. Sure, I don't wanna let you down but mostly i don't wanna let down the people who suffer from MS. I'm lucky enough to have the ability to ride a bike. So on that note: if you could please Click here to get to my personal page & you can make a secure, online donation or you can pay me in person if you want. I know economic times are tough but at least we're all alive & well for the most part...we are the lucky ones! If you can't contribute, i completely understand but at least send positive thoughts my way that weekend in September...i will need it!

I don't usually ask for this kind of help from the people i know! and I feel the need to tell you don't feel obligated to help in this request. Just know when it comes down to it, help where you can..that's all that matters! hopefully someday down the line someone will pay it forward. Maybe you'll be part of this or maybe you'll choose not to. Clearly, I'm a horrible sales person so i'm not going to guilt any one into giving up a few minutes of their time or forking over money they don't or can not part with. That's not my style!

stay hydrated...or die

2009-08-24T23:02:00.001-05:00

i'm not really in the mood to blog right now so this won't be a long post because frankly i'm exhausted & still have to go read up on pigs & other farm animals! i start working with baby pigs at school tomorrow...let's hope they don't squeal too much!

last week was kind of a bust as far as bike riding was concerned. Every time i wanted to go for a ride, mother natured told me otherwise & literally rained on my parade. so i didn't really get a good ride in until Saturday. i did 30 miles. it was nice to ride by myself & see if i could actually motivate myself to go the full 15 down & back on a back road. i went into it thinking i'd do at least 10 down & back but once i got to 10, i knew i had to keep going to 15. those last 5 were the hardest but i did it! I also met a nice Mexican guy before i started my ride...we had a good conversation about biking. i don't know his actual name but let's just call him Guillermo.

I thought i drank enough water after my ride knowing very well that's what you need to do...but apparently i didn't drink enough. after a night out with friends i woke up the next morning sick as a dog! i thought i'd get better as the day went on but i just got worse & by 6pm i had to leave my nieces 1st birthday party & go home & rest. good thing my mom is nurse because she came & took care of my dying self. ok so i wasn't really dying but i sure felt like it. i spent half the night trying to break a fever & chills...i finally did. but tonight it came back so i'm back on the all liquid lifestyle of H2O, Gatorade & Sprite. being dehydrated is for the birds...i don't recommend it. i haven't been able to eat much the past couple days for fear it would reappear including my shakes so there goes that! candid i know, but oh so true.

however, i did measure today & lost 4 inches from last week. so that's a plus...i'll weigh in tomorrow.

its still up in the air on whether i'll be able to ride in the MS-150 this year...i have my large animal kennel rotation the same weekend as the ride but i might have found someone to switch with me. if not, its ok...i'm not sure i've really had the time to properly train for it this year especially now since school has started. but we'll just have to wait & see what tomorrow brings...literally i know tomorrow.

that's all i have...sorry this wasn't very entertaining but my brain isn't functioning like it should right now. so just consider this post a PSA about "Hydration."...the more you know...bing bang boom.

a good investment

2009-08-16T22:37:00.007-05:00

every week i try to come up with something insightful to write about for you all...literally, i go thru out my days racking my brain for something i could write about...i make mental notes thinking "oh that's good, i'll remember to write about that". then it comes time to start typing & this cranium goes as blank as a new VHS tape...yea i said VHS. hopefully the youth of today has a clue what that contraption is! just imagine snowy static across the screen...that's what it becomes!

i'm not sure i'm drinking enough water. that's probably another reason i'm not losing weight as fast as i was before. Mostly because when i'm at work, i completely forget to drink it! sure, i take a my big green water bottle to work every day but don't really drink from it until mid afternoon. Doh! on an upside, i haven't been drinking coffee as much. i only drank it in the mornings to begin with but now i don't even depend on that to wake me up anymore!

today i noticed i don't have the usual aches & pains i used to have before i started IsAgenix. i've had a bad left knee since i was a kid..no idea what really caused but its probably from falling off my bike a lot growing up...sidenote: Mom, i swear i'm more careful now & i wear a helmet! i also have a bad right shoulder from falling off a chair in college (i was completely sober)..i had surgery to fix it but it still bothers me every now & then. also i think i have a heel spur in my right foot from all the standing i've done in the jobs i've had in retail in the past. but in all honesty, i'm not feeling any of those pains nearly as often lately...weird?! yes it is but i'm ok with that!

welp, right now i should be finishing up my journal for my vet tech preceptorship so i can turn it in this week when i go back to school but let's face it, i'm behind on it...again!! i have good intentions but if its just intentions, what good is it really unless i follow thru! i'm starting my 2nd year of vet tech school on Tuesday...i'm not mentally prepared...i'm having a bit of a freak out moment where i swear i've forgotten all the little trivial things i know i'll be quizzed over & tested on in an unruly fashion over the next 10mnths. rightfully so, its my future i'm studying for so i should retain as much as i possible can! but this brain is full of random stuff that will never be on a state board exam like the entire scene from Ace Ventura where he's in the dolphin's tank mocking Star Trek. yes i can recite it...why? probably cuz i learned it when i was 12 & that's the kind of stuff a 12 yr old should remember... not algebra schmalgebra!

so i was rather frustrated with bike riding for a couple days last week....i would even venture to say i over-reacted on my frustration but i had to get it outta my system! anyhoo...i was borrowing an old bike from the Ebberts who were nice enough to take it in & have it checked out & cleaned up before passing it on to me. the bike had a few glitches i was willing to deal with & over look. after all it was a free bike so i should be grateful, right? well at first i was, but the more i rode it, it's like the bike turned against me! it tried shifting gears on its own & then not allowing me to shift down into an easier gear...which never bodes well when you encounter hills...especially stuck in 5th gear!! anyhoo, like my buddy Mark said, the bike was like Stephen King's "Christine" & i just couldn't handle it any more. so i went out & got a new one...yup impulse buy! i went to a couple different places & weighed my options, first. But thanks to the folks at Epic Bike store, they hooked me up with the perfect bike for me! its lighter which makes it faster & it only changes gears when i want it to! due to the color it's been dubbed "The Silver Bullet"...rightfully so...i can pass Kristin on a straight away now!

so after all is said & done, i've realized both IsAgenix & buying a new bike have been a good investment for yours truly...and yes i am truly yours...jk that phrase has never made sense to me! So i'd recommend one or the other..IsAgenix or a new bike...or both! i have no major weight loss to announce & only 3 inches lost this week but i feel good & right now that's satisfactory enough for me. Tomorrow i'll try harder to drink more water & be more consistent at eating healthier food. granted we all stray a little bit..i have! but when you bike 20 miles & burn a few hundred extra calories than normal, you need to replace them with something!

20 lb club!! whoop whoop

2009-08-10T23:51:00.001-05:00

yea i know it doesn't sound like much but 20 lbs down since i started a month ago is not too freakin' shabby, Right?! let's do the math together...ok...divide by 30...carry the 1...aw yes, the average amount of lbs lost per day is 0.666 lbs...wait what?! uh oh...dude, i swear i'm not the devil! i was kinda hitting a plateau in my weight loss & inches but i was told to try the IsaProtein. basically, i add a scoop of that to my shakes to help with stubborn weight loss....fyi, it has no taste so it makes the shakes gross unless you add something else to it like fruit. i had to add bananas because i think i was starting to have a lack of potassium in my diet...i could feel a charley horse coming on! yes even after a girls night of drunken bowling, i still lost a total of 5 lbs this past week...i give kudos to the IsaPro.

so today was one of those days at work where you are hit in the face with reality & are not completely ready for what's in store. by the time i got off work tonight, all i wanted to do was go home & eat some comforting pasta & drink something to calm my nerves. rest assure, i ate no pasta but i will say my nerves are calmer now =) i witnessed a life end today. yes it was a dog's & that happens fairly often especially in the field i'm in, but not as often in the way i experienced it. (excuse me while i vent about my job a lil bit.) i wasn't in the door less than 14 minutes minutes this morning, when a poodle mix came in after being attacked by a larger dog. we took x-rays...its back & ribs were broken so we rush him to surgery. lungs were punctured & other internal things were going on. i was put on breathing duty for him...it was up to me to make sure he was breathing whether he wanted to or not & make sure he didn't turn blue. long story short, we were an hour & 1/2 into surgery when he crashed...thanks to our doctor & his calm nature & knowledge, we were able to bring him back. but minutes later, he crashed again....unfortunately he didn't make it this time....a black cloud lingered over me the rest of the day. its one of those cases i will never forget & hope to never encounter again...but i know i will & hopefully it will help me be more prepared to deal with it a little better.

i apologize...enough with that dreariness of my life, right?! so...there is a whole separate business side of this IsAgenix program where you can make some extra dough but i'm not doing this whole thing for the money cuz that's not my bag, by any means. i'm only in it to get healthy & if by chance that helps promote the products of IsAgenix then so be it. But i'm not gonna lie to you, dear readers of "Awkwardly Shaped"....i am starting to make a profit from all this only because so many other friends are starting to try it out & i hope they are being as successful as i am! pyramid scheme, schmeramid scheme! that's not how we roll. slow & steady wins the race, my friends...slow & steady! instant results are not what any successful weight loss program is all about...it will take a little while for your body to realize what's up & to start losing the weight & inches on its own time if you are consistent! keep with it! sidenote: this was me preaching to the choir...so i just "duly noted" that last sentence.

i've come to realize that there are people reading this blog that i have no idea about...i don't know you & that's totally fine! if i just think the people reading this are the ones who are actually "following" me, it makes it a little easier (all 14 of you!) cuz i know you all & i'll continue to be honest & use my normal random humor when writing it. if i bore you when i go on random rants, i apologize. but thanks for reading anyways, right?! green...

extra energy

2009-08-03T22:33:00.002-05:00

i've forgotten to take my Ionix Supreme couple times the past month so i had some extra at the start of this 2nd month. I consider it a liquid vitamin that you take every morning however it doesn't taste all that awesome! Since i had extra i took 2oz this morning instead of the usual 1oz...holy free holy! i had crazy energy for a Monday & even a day after i did a 30 mile bike ride! i'm starting to wonder if that stuff is laced with crack or something...hmmm..jk! It says you can take 1-2oz of the Ionix Supreme once a day so for those of you also trying out any of the Isagenix programs, if you know you're gonna have a long day at work or are gonna need some extra energy that day i say double it up to 2oz just to give ya an extra jolt!

welp, my weight is staying about the same this week. i'm at about 257lb but it fluctuates, of course. however i've lost another 5 inches! i know that i am turning the fat into muscle which is good but very deceiving to the scale! argh! oh well..i'm feeling better & its always nice when my scrubs fit looser at work...rock on! tomorrow is a cleanse day which works since i'm off work & it'll be raining! so i won't feel too guilty doing nothing all day! perfect for slumber & watching a movie!

memory loss, roller bladdes & tour de airport

2009-08-02T22:22:00.000-05:00

so another week down! i'll post measurements & weight tomorrow..cuz i forgot to do both today..my bad! i did get up & ride 8 miles twice by myself this past week...i'm NOT a morning person so this is quite a feet for me!

it's been a rather crazy weekend...i had every intention of going for a long ride on Saturday afternoon even after Tasha had to bail on me. in fact, i was getting ready to walk out the door to go on my ride when my phone rang at approx 2:03pm & it was someone from the radio station asking where i was with the station van for the remote i was assigned to that was taking place from 2-4pm...oh snap!! so i said a few choice words children shouldn't hear & hopped in my car & flew down town. then i hopped in the station van & floored it to the Legends. this trip, if driven at a legal speed would normally take a little over an hour...i made it there in 45min. so maybe i didn't get any cardio done on my bike but my heart sure was pumping as i avoided the law on the interstate in a company van with logo & a huge mast antenna attached on top! this would only happen to me.

this morning i ventured out to meet up with folks for a long ride around the downtown air port. but as i was leaving my neighborhood, i stopped at a stop sign & let a truck turn then proceeded to pull out...but was quickly thrown off when a woman on roller blades started yelling at me, telling me i had a stop sign & should obey it! clearly she was in my blind spot & i yelled "so sorry!" but she couldn't hear me because she was angry with head phones on. all i could think was i must have gone back to the future cuz i didn't think anyone roller bladed anymore...what is this 1992?!

so that was a good wake up call for the morning. the longest i've ridden in one sitting is 12 miles...well, at least since i was a kid. we ended up riding almost 30miles today around the downtown airport...it was about 8 times around to get 30 miles in. we had all the bumps & cracks in the road memorized by the end & plus the pot hole that had hair in it..random. a few planes flew over me & Kristin as we were riding & i'm pretty sure if i hadn't ducked, one of them would have hit me with their landing gear...good thing i had my helmet on! the only hard part of the ride was the freaking wind! riding against it makes it about 10 times harder! but i didn't even stop once thru out the whole thing..thanks, Kristin, for falling back from the group & staying with me! i'm pretty sure half way thru my legs were just on auto pilot. who cares that i was lapped on a few occasions & i couldn't seem to catch up to a wheelchair rider...hey he had strong arms!! but at least i was going fast enough to pass some runners! i know to some people and other bike riders, 30 miles isn't a lot but its kind of a big deal for me so i'm just gonna enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishing this task for at least another day or two!

so that's my random weekend not completely related to the normal topic at hand but it's just another random blurp from my life so just be entertained by the fact that none of this happened to any of you in a 48 hr period!

good night & have a pleasant tomorrow.

a free weekend!

2009-07-27T22:17:00.001-05:00

Thanks to wedding cake, a lot of beer & a late night run for the border, i'm not gonna weigh in just yet this week..or at least not accept that i only lost 3lbs last week & gained 2 back over the weekend. As bad as all that was for me, it made for one great night with old friends! but a new week has started & i'm back on track...like a boss!

i biked about 12 miles on Saturday morning. then i felt the urge to bike early this morning before work. its crazy how nice it was at 6:30am....quiet & peaceful...of course, all that was disrupted by my bike gears shifting & me huffing & puffing up a few big hills. Sorry nature...i didn't mean to wake you up so early with my loudness! i figured it'd be better for me to ride by myself every now & then so i'm not constantly slowing down my usual group when we ride. as of now, i just blame my slowness on the bike until i get a new one. But after i get it & realize i'm still extremely slow, i'll have to come up with a new excuse! i'm told i'm gonna be riding in the MS-150 in September so i really gotta start kicking it up a notch...or break my leg. clearly, i have great confidence in myself!

gotta stay postive

2009-07-21T23:19:00.004-05:00

so i've been a little perturbed the past couple days for reasons i won't go into but it's probably left me with a bit of sour attitude which is not my thing! Since Sunday i don't feel i've really been working as hard as i should be & i haven't lost as much as i wanted to so far this week. but after going for a bike ride tonight it helped clear my head & i think i have the fire back in me. mostly the fact that i want to prove people wrong. i did get some positive feedback today from my mom who said i looked like i'd lost some weight. she sees me every day & could already tell after 2 weeks this is working! i'm told hard work pays off...i sure hope it's true in my case!

the best part of my bike ride tonight was when my bike seat started to slowly slip down as i headed up the last big hill...that's what happens when you adjust it & don't tighten it all the way...clearly i brought this on myself. just picture a big kid on a tiny bike with knees up to their chin. that was me on a little bigger scale..however, no one from my group was around to enjoy this but i'm sure it was funny for the people walking by. I do what i can to entertain the masses!

so tomorrow's a new day & it can only be as good as i make it...I mean it'd really help if i won the lottery as well but that would require i spend money on a ticket...who has that kinda time or money to begin with? i only go to QuikTrip anyways & you never hear about people who win the big million-dollar jack pots buying their tickets at a QuikTrip...its always some small town, off the beaten path & barely passing health code place like Uncle Fester's Pit Stop & Bait Shop Cafe'.

welp, i head to work tomorrow while on a cleanse day...i think it'll be easier doing a cleanse while working cuz i'll stay busy but then again it might wear me out even more! i have enough scraps & bruises from crazy pets at the vet already so i'll have to be on my toes ready to take on the wild kingdom! better pack a few extra wafers for energy...power up, my friends!

The ever shrinking Dawsonator

2009-07-18T17:32:00.001-05:00

welp, i took my measurements yesterday after being on Isagenix for 13 days now. let's start with what my stats were on day 1:
waist: 55.5in
abs: 55in
butt:55in
diaphragm: 49in

as you can see i'm pretty much the same size all around which makes me awkwardly shaped!
also i took the measurement of my head to make sure it wasn't the same size as the rest of me cuz clearly it is abnormally huge! thankfully it was not 55 like the rest of my body...but it was 23in.

now after 13 days on Isagenix & some bike riding:
waist:51in
abs: 49 1/3
butt:52 1/2
diaphragm: 45
alas my head is still the same size!

after doing a little arithmetic...aka calculator...i have lost at least 16 inches & i'm now down to 260lbs...yup that's 13 lbs in 13 days! that calls for some celebration in moderation! that just me livin' la vida loca...sorry for the Ricky Martin reference. it was in my head for some reason. so that is that...i've run out of witty comments after this long week & 3 days of biking!

good night & have a pleasant tomorrow!

bike rides

2009-07-16T23:29:00.000-05:00

yup old school bike rides are back in my life...good for the body...bad for your butt! well not really bad for your butt, it just kinda hurts at first. if any of you know me at all, you know i'm not a big fan of working out but i've done my best to suck it up over the past year. however i haven't really found something that keeps my attention long enough to be affective. so we'll see how biking goes!

whenever i think of riding bikes, my mind immediately goes back to when i was a kid. you all know what i'm talking about! how in the world did we have that kind of stamina to ride around all day on bikes with one gear & breaks that only worked by peddling backwards? youth is amazing...just sucks you gotta grow up & get a job to survive!

btw i had a chocolate Isagenix shake for dinner...i put powdered peanut butter in it cuz its better for you...all i can say is delish! try it...you'll thank me.

not feeling the energy today

2009-07-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

so its another day of cleanse..i'm trying to stay busy today since i'm off work but i haven't been that successful! one day off in the middle of the week is kind of a tease. what am i suppose to do with this day other than go run errands & spend all the money i just acquired on pay day today...bah-humbug! maybe i'll just sleep the day away...jk..sorta. i've been a little under the weather the past couple days so i haven't gotten much exercise but the scale didn't prove that this morning! but i'm not gonna post how much i'm down just yet...i hope the suspense kills you...well not actually kills you cuz then i'd be an accessory to murder & frankly that would put a damper on my weekend.

one good thing about starting this program, i've cut back on my dr pepper consumption...welp, i don't particularly like that but my dentist is a big fan! he hates fixing my cavities!

i'm a little hungry right now so must be time for a "snack". what if i just put it in water? wonder if it would just dissolve like an alka-seltzer? hmmm....

Week 1 DONEZIES!

2009-07-12T21:13:00.001-05:00

Welp, my first week of sticking to my guns of healthy eating & on Isagenix is under my belt! hmmm, i'd eat a gun right now if it had chocolate bullets. what?! never mind that doesn't even make sense...but it does sound delicious, right? the chocolate part people, come on! guns are not safe & should only be handled by a professional...that is your tip of the day, you welcome.

by the end of this week i was pretty wore out mostly because of work so i put one of the Isagenix energy packets in my water bottle & took it to work on Friday...i drank it thru out the day. Normally i hit a lull in the day about 2:30 after wrestling dogs & crazy cats all day...it wears a girl out! but this time i felt great! it may not keep the animals from drooling or crapping on me but i have the energy to deal with it! i might have to get me some more of those energy packs!

let's not talk about the fact that i just saw an ad on TV for Taco Bell & it looked scrumptious! Yo quiero but i must be strong! i know a few of you following along on here are on the same Isagenix program as me...so good luck to you all!! keep me posted on how you're doing or any tips you might have for me!

ok so drum roll please...after the first week i'm down to 266 lbs! yup that's 7 lbs in 7 days...off to a pretty good start! but i don't want to get too excited just yet. its only been a week & when you start a diet like this it's always encouraging the first week when you lose big but i'm just gonna take it day by day. I know not every week can be that good but lets hope so!!

night before the 1st weigh in!!

2009-07-11T13:52:00.001-05:00

welp, i'm wrapping up the end of my first week on Isagenix. i've only eatten my shakes & a granola bar today cuz i'm going to the T-Bones game tonight with my family & ya gotta have a hot dog at the ballpark right?! totally worth it. this has been a crazy week & i could really go for some pizza & beer right now but i'm gonna fight the urge...perhaps some Sailor would be more healthy =)

so this is the part i've been dreading the most: last Sunday I weighed in at 273lbs...i'm gonna say it's mostly muscle! jk it's totally not! that's the highest i've been in 3 years. I lost a bunch of weight couple years ago by doing Slim4Life which works really well but it's costly & time consuming as far as making a full blown meal 3 times a day everyday. anyhoo...tomorrow is the first weigh in..bum bum buuuum! jk i ain't scared! ok maybe a little. i have those thoughts go thru my head like: what can i do between now & then to weigh even less. what if i cut my finger nails...surely that'd take off a new ounces right?!

i'm not really sure why i agreed to write this blog at first. a favor to a friend i guess but now i'm thinking it will keep me far more accountable knowing a few folks are reading along & will actually know & see how i'm keeping up with all this...but still, what was i thinking?! thanks to those of you reading along & encouraging me during this!

and so it begins...

2009-07-08T19:56:00.000-05:00

soooo...I'm not much of a blogger but I'm sure most of you aren't much of a blog reader so we'll start this journey together! some of you may have found your way here because you know me & are interested in the random rants I might splurt out...and I'm glad you did! But the real bonus is if you continue to read this blog from day to day, you'll be following along with me as I document my progress on my mission to lose some LB's! i know...me & losing weight not a usual combo but in reality probably should make a good one!

Thanks to my friends the Ebberts, I've gotten started on the Isagenix program which consists of a couple shakes a day & sensible meals. There's a little more to the program but I'll get into that later. I just wanted to try this blog thing out for now & make sure I know where all the gadgets are...ps: click on the "follow" button to the left so you can get updates whenever I post them! at least I think that's how it works...

I'm at the end of Day 3 of the Isagenix program which is a cleanse day...that means all I did today was drink! ok, well maybe not the kind of drinking I'd prefer to be doing but oh well. it hasn't been too bad though...except for the fact that all ads on TV are food related. dang you advertising! at least I have the "snacks" which are more like large chalky tums than a delicious wafer but it helps with the hunger. If you know me already, you know my schedule is always on the go...to say the least! so this program is actually perfect for someone with a schedule like mine. I won't have to worry about making meals as often...I just grab a shake & go!

I'm gonna suck it up & post my starting measurements & weight soon because that's what i agreed to do...besides, it's not like those things are really a secret...you all can see me with your own eyes, right?! Hense the name of this thing..."Awkwardly Shaped" =) I'll keep ya posted on how things are going...I'm pretty sure my first weigh in on Sunday will be good so get ready for the craziness to begin!