loss of a dear friend

I recently received a call that a former neighbor, Shirley, had been found dead in her home. She was only 71 yrs old. It was very unexpected. No cause was determined but it was more than likely related to health problems. When I first heard that Shirley had died, my immediate thought was "what the hell?!?" but then I thought "I guess it was her time". Yes it was a very sad moment. I've done my best to keep my true feelings from those around me. I had to tell my work BFF that I was probably gonna be in a bummer mood the following day because of this sudden loss in my life. That way she could tell others & I wouldn't have to explain my mood. Then when it was brought up the next day at work, I almost lost it & had to just walk away & change the subject. My mom kept saying she just hated Shirley for doing this. It was so unexpected. Just 3 mths ago Shirley was on a cruise with her cousins enjoying life to the fullest. She had been to visit her parents the day before she died. But she didn't show up for a painting class she was taking on Monday. Her parents found her collapsed in her kitchen the following day.

This was a shock to not only her family & ours but the rest of the old neighborhood family. I was lucky enough to grow up in a small culdesac we called "The Circle". Neighbors would come & go but we kept in touch with the ones that meant the most to us. The few that I had the privilege to grow up with in my life are still kept close to my heart & I do my best stay in touch.

When I graduated from college in 2004, Shirley gave me a book titled "Manual For Living." Then last year when I graduated from the vet tech program, she gave me a book titled "The Meaning of Life." I never took the opportunity to read either of them all the way through until the night I found out she had passed away. I couldn't sleep & so I pulled out both books. Granted neither book is very long but the words they contained needed to be read by me at that moment. I can't say that I was extremely close to Shirley but the fact that she was able to function & continue on in life after losing 2 of 3 sons unexpectedly with in a year of each other, show her strong will. She was the epitomeof strength. It's weird to think that i will never see her again. I will never watch her crazy bird dogs. I will never have to clean up after their many accidents due to having to give them their meds in hot dogs & boiled quail. I will never get to sit with her at her kitchen table & talk about how life was going.

I could go on for days on how having Shirley Fraser as a neighbor shaped my life. It was thanks to her sons that I learned the act of practical jokes, motorcycles, camping & beer. I learned the best to way to make a dry ice bomb that will sound like a M-80 no mater what if done right! Shirley saw the best in all of us kids in the neighborhood. She was a constant ray of encouragement. I have her to thank for helping me get into the vet tech program. Whenever I needed a reference, she was the first person that came to mind. When I asked her if she'd be willing to write me a letter, I will always remember the happiness in her voice over the phone. When I went to pick up the letter a few days later, she was so excited to pass it on to me. After attending her funeral, I found out so much more about her. I wish I had known her better. She did many great things in her life & accomplished even more than I ever knew of. I hope that when I die, those left behind will say such words of love & kindness as were said about her. Among Shirley's things, her son found an obituary that she had written about herself. that got me thinking, What if I were to write my own obit? What would it say?

"Amy Dawson was born & raised in Kansas City, MO. After graduating high school in 2000, she attended Northwest MO State where she earned a bachelor's degree in Broadcasting with a minor in Psychology in 2004. After working for KFKF radio for nearly 4 years, she decided there had to be more to life. She went back to school to study veterinary technology where she graduated in 2010. She was finally doing what she loved which was working with animals. The good, the bad & the all the ugly that came with it. Amy grew up always having dogs in her life so it was inevitable that she would one day make a living out of working with them. Amy was know for her humor, quick wit, dedicated friendship & unattainable love for music. Amy always looked for the best in people even if it meant she might get hurt or be disappointed in the long run. She is survived by her parents Rick & Peggy Dawson, her brothers Ryan & Jason & their wives. She is also survived by her 5 amazing nieces & nephews who she dearly loved & whom she was know as AA to: Makenzie, Maggie, Robby, Savannah & Jack. "

That's just a rough draft & I hope there are more great things to add to it when I actually pass away...hopefully many years from now!

lah-dee-freaking-dah!

These are a few things I want to talk about today. I will elaborate on them in just a moment.

-Capitalization.

-EBay

-Songs for Japan

-Stuck in the elevator.

-Ice

-Blue ink pens

-Andy from Parks & Rec

-Apple Sauce.

-Social anxiety

-laundry basket on head

1. Let's start with #1: Capitalization. Since graduating from college, my only major rebellion has been to stop capitalizing the first word of sentences & my own name. Why? I have no idea. I could blame texting for making that happen or I could blame my lack of self confidence as to why I didn't want to capitalize my own name or even the word "I" whenever I type it out but I have decided to change that. I am back to normal grammar as best I can do & because I deserve some respect from myself.


2. EBay. Whatever happened to the fad of selling & buying stuff on EBay? The excitement of finding a collector's item or a cheaper version of your favorite useless thing. Only to have to wait at least 7 days to find out if you "won" it in a virtual bidding war with strangers who had nothing better to do than sit & track their outbiddings. Did all the EBay rage go out in like 2005? It must have been the discovery of Craig's List..which I still feel is really just a poor man's version of the lazy garage sale. I do understand it's useful. The one & only time I used it was to find a home for a dog I was fostering & luckily I didn't meet any creepers like in that Lifetime movie.


3. Songs for Japan. I recently read that Rihanna, Bon Jovi, Ne-Yo & Justin Bieber were coming together to collaborate on an album to benefit those devastated by the recent tsunami & earthquake. I don't know how the people of Japan feel about those artist, but I sure as hell don't think their music (except for maybe Bon Jovi) would in anyway lift my spirits after I lost everything I had plus loved ones. I think listening to them would only make things worse.


4. Stuck in an elevator. Have you ever gotten in an elevator with strangers & immediately thought "what if these are the people I got stuck in an elevator with right now"? Luckily it's never happened but I always imagine if it did. That could be a comedy or horror movie depending on my fellow elevator patrons. Next time you get in an elevator, just take a quick look around at the other people in there with you. Don't worry, you can look around at them because like all people who get in an elevator with strangers, they never look directly at anyone else so you won't have to worry about making eye contact.


5. Ice. I love ice almost as much I like fire. But I don't like driving on ice...and I certainly wouldn't want to drive on fire. I could easily walk across either one. I like ice in a glass but I've never had fire in a glass. I imagine that would be kind of fun though.


6. Blue ink pens. They are my favorite color of pens to write in but due to my job, it's not legal to write in blue ink. Well actually new laws say it can be either black or blue ink but my doctors only prefer black. I miss writing in blue. It makes writing less drab.


7. Chris Pratt aka Andy from Parks & Rec. I awesome sauce him!


8. Apple Sauce....thinking of awesome sauce made me think of apple sauce which I haven't had in a long time. It's best if cinnamon is added to it.


9. Social anxiety. I think I'm starting to develop a form of social anxiety. Which is not good for me because I love being around people. But the past couple months, when I wake up in the morning or am getting ready to go hang out with friends on the weekends, I start to feel nauseous. Maybe it's a fear that I won't be good enough at my job or that I won't be fun enough for my friends. Whatever it is, it's very annoying & I hope it goes away soon.


10. Put a laundry basket on my head. I did that a lot when I was a kid. We would always joke that we were stuck in jail looking out through the "bars" of the basket. I did it today & had a flash back of being 7yrs old again. Btw, I despise folding laundry.

I bid you a-do. May your week be a good one. If you get in an elevator, just remember to take a brief gander at those around you. Imagine the stories behind them that they could bring to the scene if you all got stuck together. It's Sunday night & my brain hasn't worked all weekend so I should probably go to sleep now & hope it resets itself before the morning or else work will be a struggle more than usual.

the prodigal one returns!

It's been brought to my attention that it's been far too long time since I've written on my blog. For whatever reason that's kept me away, I do apologize to anyone who actually looked forward to a random rant by yours truly. Life has been filled with many twists & turns the past several mouths.

I acquired a new job at a vet clinic last May. I passed National boards in July & then became a Registered Veterinarian Technician in the Missouri in November. Overall, I love my job. Granted my clinic can be expensive but I love the doctors I work for because they actually care about their patients & not just about making money off them. They do everything they can to perform the best quality medicine that they possibly can. That's something I never dealt with at my previous employer.

When I first started, I thoroughly enjoyed working with all my other co-workers. They were all hard workers for once! It always takes a while for everyone to get to know the new kid, but I found my niche pretty quick & got along with everyone. The longer I was there, I came to realizing a select few weren't as dedicated workers as I thought. They were constantly calling in sick or having family problems that hindered them from showing up & doing their jobs. I believe that 87% of the time their stories were legit but the remaining 13% are yet to be determined. I have come to realize that the rest of the world was not instilled with the kind of work ethic I was raised with thanks to my parents. Dedication, honesty, eagerness to learn, willingness to help others, sense of teamwork instead of competition. If none of these apply to your work ethic, I am sad for you.

This post is not meant to be a bickering session about my job. I could go on for days, nay...weeks, if given the opportunity to talk about my feelings towards my job right now. But in the end, it would just come across as a bitching session & that's not what this blog is for. Just know that I have an INSANE frustration towards certain things & people at my job that I wish I could control or if someone cared how I felt about it. But this is not the time nor place to elaborate on that topic.

I must let those things go right now because we need to talk about important things like "I Love Lucy." Yes, the television show. I recently got the 1st two seasons of the classic black & white TV show on DVD & I am making a marathon of it! For those of you who don't know the history of television, I'm gonna nerd out right now. "I Love Lucy" changed the way situation-comedies were presented to the world. Mostly for the technique of a 3-camera style production in order to capture upclose character reaction, live-to-tape recording & the art of filming before a live studio audience. We can also credit Desilu Productions for the smart move of airing reruns, which come handy when Lucille Ball became pregnant during filming of the 2nd season of "I Love Lucy". That later gave birth to the financial genius that is syndication! Why I know all this information about a television show is beyond me. But I always watch "I Love Lucy" in aw of the simple concept that changed a medium. The comedic talent & timing was never expected to come from a female role in that era. Sure Lucy played the part of a 1950's housewife but she lived the life of a hilarious independent woman at the same time. There aren't many important people in history I can say I'd like to sit down & have a conversation with, but Lucille Ball is one of them. The woman behind the character was an amazing business woman as well as comedian. She paved the way for many people to this day.

I grew up on black & white TV. Maybe it was because the only television I had in my room only played in black & white. For the longest time I thought Full House & A Different World were in black & white! So I felt like I was an old soul from early on. I say an old soul because, even though I am quite a jokester & love to be silly & have fun, there is a part of me that is always cognisant of what's going on around me. I feel nowadays, most people are too busy with their heads inside their own lives to really know what lies just beyond their own front door. Or just beyond their own boring Facebook status. No one really cares that you are tired or sick or hate your job or the weather sucks or that your kid won't sleep through the night!! Unless there's a funny twist to it. Like you're tired because you stayed up all night trying to memorize the entire dialogue to Driving Miss Daisy in the original southern accents. Or that your kid won't sleep through the night because he now believes he is part bat & must stay awake at night & only sleep during the day while hanging his head off the side of the bed.

If there's not a funny twist to your status update, I will block you from my news feed. Simple as that. I thrive on whimsical & clever statements. If you have nothing different to offer, I do not want to waste my time reading your updates. Life is short so don't bore me with glaring observations.

whew I am done for now. You can thank the Sailor for this ramblefication (clarification of rambling)...yes I made that word up. According to Barney Stinson, inventing your own word shows creativity & vision aka visativity. I just watched the "Possimpible" episode & can't stop making up new words! Its fun try it...it might make your status update or Twitter feeds that much more tolerable for others to read.