i have recently been a witness to a marriage between two close friends going through a struggling time. of course it involves money. the husband has lost his job temporarily...details are insanely confusing...however the job loss involves lawyers & such beyond his control. anyhooo....i don't know the details of this marriage & it's struggles on the inside of all this hoop-blah are hard to explain! but i do somewhat understand both sides. on the wife side: her husband has been forced to be jobless for a certain amount of time. so he struggles with being the man of the house & providing for the family without really having an income. he isn't able to really make that happen. the husband side: he must provide for his wife like he promised to do in the wedding vows however life's obstacles are not allowing that to happen. he's struggling to make ends' meat & is failing miserably at it. (luckily no children are involved in this....just dogs) the littlest things are causing flare ups between these two people. they will probably hate or disown me for discussing this on the world wide web but oh well...i'll probably forget i wrote this in the morning. i won't mention names so they should be fine. besides, they probably won't read it anyways cuz i'm mostly talking to myself when i type these things so i really think it will be fine.
btw, i hate that my hands can't keep up with what i want to type right now. damn you wine for firing my nephrons so fast and making me think faster than my brain will allow! also, i should probably be asleep right now in order to obtain a decent amount of slumber so i can spend the day studying for a couple of midterms but honestly that's last on my list right now because i'm so distracted by the struggle between two friends.
upfront, i know that as a friend to both of these people (mostly to the wife who i've known since i was 4) i should side with the wife. however....i cannot choose sides. i personally will not choose a "who's right" & "who's wrong side." if i were to do that, i would just be asking to have no friends...there is no winner in this fight. as much as these 2 competitive people want there to be...there will be NO winner...because marriage isn't about a winner of the argument. its not about you being right & your spouse being wrong. even i know that...and at my pace, i won't be married until after i turn 37!
tonight, these 2 friends will probably go to bed angry & hateful towards each other. and that breaks my heart. they will probably work it out in the long run but i hate waiting for the long run to pan out. all i could think about tonight was i wish these 2 stubborn people would shut the hell up & actually listen to each other. they are hell bent on being the one with all the answers that they forget that perhaps one day they won't have all the answers & that they might actually have to rely on someone else for support.
when i came home, i walked down stairs into the basement where i live in my parents house. (please feel free to feel sorry for me at any moment) i was distracted by the glow from the window outside. the back 40 (a large field behind our house) is lit up by the full moon which is bouncing off the snow still present in our back yard. there's something about nature that is overwhelming. i'm not gonna get all religious on you. that's not my thing. but i will say that a higher being (and let's say God) is one hell of an architect! nature is amazing & i'm always caught off guard at the least opportune time by it. i am mesmerized by sunsets, sunrises, snow caped mountains as well as snow caped sidewalks, rain, thunderstorms, fresh air, decent weather on an autumn night during a bonfire or even just when weather is not making the news...as in clear skies, mild temperatures & a humidity-free day. That's just how everyone should view life.
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